Does My Bump Look Big in This?
By author Amy Lynch
Genre: Chick Lit
The MOTHER of all comedies is due… Newlyweds Barry and Becky are just back from their tropical honeymoon. The tans are gorgeous, and it was five star luxury all the way. But there’s a problem. Barry’s desperate for a baby, and Becky’s not quite so keen. Surrounded by pregnant friends and a mother who’s talking about the ticking of invisible biological clocks, Becky starts to feel the pressure. When a surprise pregnancy rocks the boat, Becky’s friends and family are rooting for her all the way. Will she navigate the choppy waters to motherhood? Will she survive antenatal classes? Can she avoid stretchmarks, indigestion and her dreaded boss? And most importantly of all… does her bump look big in this?
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A Guest Post by Amy:
‘Here,’ Emer points. ‘That’s the same buggy that I have. It’s amazing. They have all the latest models here.’
I never thought I could be excited by a buggy before. Surely they are dull but necessary things, like wallpaper? But Emer has whipped up an excitement inside me. They are trendy, and they come in a choice of hot colours. They have these little muff things for babies to snuggle into in the winter months, and come with a matching baby changer bag. Emer says I desperately need one of those, too. She says they are essential.
‘Oh my goodness, would you just look!’
I’ve just spotted one in hot pink! It’s a shade up from my lipstick and a shade lower than my shoes. It’s just the right kind of pink, really.
‘See? Isn’t it pretty?’
‘Wow, I’m tempted, Emer,’ I confess. ‘They are so nice. And they’re made from titanium, you say? That’s why they’re so light?’
‘So glad you like them. And imagine! When we go for walks in Marley park,’ Emer is clapping her hands, attracting attention from shoppers. ‘We will have matching buggies, but in different colours. Yours in ‘hot pink promise’ and mine in ‘electric blue babe’. And our babies will fall in love with each other and go on dates and then on to have babies of their own. And then those babies will be pushed in pretty buggies, too!’
Her excitement is contagious, and we are whooping and clapping right there in the middle of the store. Fellow shoppers have stopped to look at us. The shop assistant resists the urge to block her ears to shield her from the shrieking.
‘Oh, we shall be so fabulous,’ I declare. ‘Matching buggies!’
We high-five on the words ‘matching buggies.’
I’m routing in my handbag for my credit card. I don’t think I can retrieve it fast enough.
‘Oh, Emer,’ I laugh as I pull out keys and lipsticks in search of my purse. ‘Barry will go mad when he sees the price of it. I mean… oh, he’s on the phone now. Look at my screen. How hilarious! He must have a device that beeps when I spend too much money!’
I’m laughing so hard, it’s hard to talk. When I hang up, I’m deflated.
‘What’s wrong, babes? Rebecca?’
‘Barry is such a meanie. He’s thrilled with the sound of the cot and changing table. Naturally, I didn’t mention the rocking chair.’
‘But, Emer, I was telling him about the buggy, you know? I even mentioned the cute cappuccino cup holder and the speedometer on the handlebar, right? He said it sounds amazing.’
‘So what’s wrong, Rebecca?’
‘When I told him the price…’ my voice trails off.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ Emer declares, grinning.
The shop assistant is pretending to straighten high chairs, but is listening to our little melodrama unfold.
‘Well, I mean, I can’t just go and buy it now. Barry wants me to wait until the weekend, maybe see if there’s one on sale somewhere, or …second hand…’
‘I said don’t worry about it.’
‘What?’ I dab at my nose with a tissue.
‘OK, look. I’ve been trying to figure out what to get you, right? You’re my best friend!’
‘Emer, you don’t need to get me anything. You’ve done so much for me already.’
‘Shush! Now, David said I have you to thank for getting me to the hospital safely. He’s really grateful to you. He said I should just bring you here and see what your reaction was, and that if you genuinely liked it, I should just get it. From Charlie.’
‘Emer, no way. It’s amazing, but no. It’s too much. Way too much.’
Emer passes her platinum credit card to the sales assistant who has reappeared at our side, the smell of commission in the air.
‘Please put the ‘hot pink promise’ deluxe model through on my card,’ she instructs.
I sob into her shoulder. There is mascara and snot on her one hundred percent wool coat. It’s such a rollercoaster!
About the Author:
Amy Lynch is an author of women’s commercial fiction. Her debut novel ‘Bride without a groom’ is out now, and her second novel ‘Does my bump look big in this?’ will follow shortly.
Amy lives in Wicklow, Ireland with her husband, two young children and two dogs.
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